Sunday, July 3, 2011

The Good the Bad and the Cheap at Cinemark

As my 3 week expedition down under draws nearer and nearer, I'm finding it harder and harder to be at work. I know...nobody like a spoiled complainer. Trust me I know. However, tonight as I sat alone in box office while my best friend Raeane enjoyed her break, I couldn't help but contemplate the things I will NOT miss about Cinemark for the next 3 weeks, and seeing as no manager follows my blog, I feel at liberty to express the top 10:
  1. Upselling. Nobody enjoys this interaction between customer and employee except for the crazy Cinemark execs. The customers just get annoyed, and we feel stupid doing it...and sometimes guilty when we upsell to the already large--excuse me--calorically challenged customers. We should be downselling these individuals for their own good.
  2. Customers who seem to believe (while somewhat flattering) that I am all knowing and have the power to read their minds. This is an erroneous assumption, one that makes my life difficult in countless ways. I think people have just forgotten how to communicate all together (thank you internet).
  3. Smelling like popcorn ALL the time, and having dreams about it when I'm too lazy to shower before bed.
  4. The spotty mics in box office that require me to be both a mind and lip reader. "I'm sorry sir could you please repeat that?" "No...I'm sorry could you please repeat that into the mic?" "Sir, the mic is not up in the marquee nor in your date's cleavage..." "Sir, if you don't speak up, you will be getting Monte Carlo tickets--no refunds or exchanges allowed."
  5. Self-serve. For those of you I work with, these needs no explanation. I mean really whoever thought that this set up was a good idea has clearly not observed humans for very long. People just don't know how to handle the stress of filing up their own drink with so many flavors and cups to choose from. It never ceases to be messy, and is always a burden.

    This is self seve on any given day...bane of my existence.
  6. Customers who complain about prices. Do I feel bad that Cinemark is raping you? Yes, but don't complain to me at till when all the while you could have looked up and added up the total in your head, and the fact that you now owe $40,000 would not be such a shock. Also, I don't make the prices. I just deal with idiots like you. Sorry.
  7. In relation to #6 comes this lovely bit known as douchey customers. "Sir, I'm sorry that you are embarrassed that you couldn't read the clearly marked label that reads LARGE ICEE CUP, and I'm sure you probably had a bad day at work, and your girlfriend dumped you, but I do not get paid enough to deal with your crazy, so please just pay and leave. Also, I am downsizing you because you are fat and do not need that much soda. Enjoy your show!"
  8. People who talk on their phones while trying to make a purchase at the same time. It makes me feel unimportant, and lowers my self esteem.
  9. The commercials that play on an endless 15 minute loop, including, but not limited to, some of the most annoying songs ever devised by man that will stay in your head for the rest of eternity.
  10. My CRAZY general manager who did not, until about 7 months ago, officially know my name, who cares only about his audit score and nothing else, and who loves buying cheap crap that breaks which forces him to buy new crap only a few weeks later...
On a more positive note, I work with some pretty freaking awesome people who are the only reason I don't stick my head in the pizza oven each and every day...thanks to those of you who keep me alive and sane. You are all fabulous. One day we will all find new jobs that appreciate us and have NOTHING to do with popcorn.

Oh, I have sooo been there penguins.

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